Well, well, @isaac-kleiner I see you've finally taken to embracing modern technology instead of spending your worthless days wiping your glasses and excreting waste on the Combine's front lawn. How quaint. As busy and important as I am, I must, however, correct your foul and frankly wrong statement regarding my Kissy-Kiss list (Which includes some of the MOST prestigious and hottest Combine loyalists on the planet, thank you very much) I do hope you realize that this entire matter is an extreme…
I would like to call to attention that, In the previous months leading up to this post, I have been questioned and slandered several times by degenerated people on this platform, mindlessly asking for a "Kissy-Kiss." I will have you know that my Kissy-Kiss List is already filled to capacity, and anyone wanting to have the prestigous opportunity to kiss the quote-un-quote 'Six-Packed Genius Beast' Doctor Breen, PhD, you will have to refer to the link below: tiny.cc/drbreenkisslist
😳 hey @mossman wanna go on a.. date later pls 🥺👉👈
It has unfortunately come to my attention that, due to my noble actions and collaboration with the Combine, a select few degenerated citizens have felt the need to endlessly slander and insult me, going to such depraved offensive lengths as to call meaningless insults such as a "GLaDOS Simp," or a quote-UN-quote "Robo-Thigh Enjoyer." To address these obviously false allegations, I can assure the general public those searches were for research purposes only, and were in the Combine's best interest to.. learn about the human race's questionable interests. Any complaining or continuous slandering of myself will result in -5000 ration credits, as well as another 3 months the suppression field is shut off.
On behalf of the Combine, I'm pleased to announce our new product and collaboration with Nabisco, Oreos flavored exactly to water from my private reserve! These will be given out in extremely limited quality, so please report to your closest nutrition handout station and pay a small fee of 500 Ration Credits, and you can enjoy the greatest Oreo flavor since Vortigaunt Green! Thank you.
Greetings. Apparently, the Combine Advisors have informed me of this website and said it would be 'more interactive' with the people of Earth rather than just my looping announcement videos, so I would like to extend a heartfelt greeting towards everybody on this website and thank the Combine, as well as Combine Advisor Robo in disguise as a human, for giving us the opportunity to converse here. Thank you. #BreenRules