Black Mesa PR Department

Black Mesa PR Department


This is the offical Black Mesa PR Department, based in Roswell, New Mexico. Don't mess with the science team and screw Apeture Science.

Joined 24 Jul 2021
Roswell, New Mexico
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5 reasons why Black Mesa is better than Aperture 1. We have Barney Calhoun 2. We didn’t go bankrupt 3. We saved humanity 4. Microwave casserole 5. We didn’t buy $7 million worth of moon rocks


We, at Black Mesa, would like to announce our NEWEST product! The personal inter-dimensional portal, called the Black Mesa Personal Portal, go and visit Xen in the safety of your own home! Just make sure to bring a crowbar and firearm just in case! Feel free to bring home your OWN headcrab or houndeye! ----- Due to reasons from the United States government, the Black Mesa Personal Portal (BMPP) was taken off the market due to production issues and possible hazards within Xen -----


To whom ever installed "Tetris" on the Black Mesa servers, we thank you for giving us something to do. You shall not report you to HR if you install "Doom" and "Half-Life", please and thank you!

Black Mesa PR Department here to announce a new product! Unveiling the model 4 Bullsquid whistle! Make a variety of bullsquid calls like “Mating” (NOT RECOMMENDED), “Food is here”, “I found Sheryl”, and many more! Get them while supplies last and if you’ll get a special crowbar, autographed by Doctor Gordon Freeman, Security Officer Barney Calhoun, Doctor Breen, and Carpal Adrian Shepard!

Black Mesa would like to announce that we now have made the perfect recipe for cake that requires ZERO human souls and no neurotoxin! All you need is a box of “Black Mesa Chocolate Cake Mix”, 2 cups of milk, a stick of butter, and 2 eggs. The instructions can be found on the box! Some optional ingredients are 5 Xen crystals ground to a powder, 2 tablespoons of headcrab blood, and 1 cup of sugar!