Dropped the crystal whoops
Whoever left the Gargantua in parking bay a3, could you please move it to either your dorm or to admin, we'll keep it safe.
HECU are blocking our transmissions to you. They won't let us be funny.
Thank YOU for all your support.
We've been breeding bullsquids for 20 years to eat radioactive waste!
Aperture more like Amateur
We urge you to take part in hammer labs!
a oh no gorgonzola feetman
Cave Johnson has to be the dumbest moron who ever lived, he was incharge of a company who made the best portal technology ever made that could've made him millions, and then went and ate some moon rocks making him deathly ill. There is not one good brain amongst the management at that place. If any Aperture scientists are looking for a change of scenery and management feel free to contact us, we'd love to have you.
For the people who are trying to escape the facility through the vents remember, all they do is ventilate the place.