LambdaGeneration

We currently have a satellite aimed at the heart of Aperture Science. At the push of a button, a super cool laser will melt a hole straight through their labs. And maybe through the entirety of Earth. On the plus side, we would become the number one research center to exist that produces such great Portals.

Test Subject 29

Word of advice, from an Aperture employee already working on our new Mass-Sized Laser Redirection Cube: Don't call your attacks. That just gives your opponent a chance to deflect them.

BreenGrub
BreenGrub
Jan 19

Then we will simply build another giant satellite to reflect your reflect.

Test Subject 29
Reply to BreenGrub

That’s cheating. Plus, “reflect your reflect”? That’s completely redundant. Ha! While I was typing this, the folks at the Aperture Science Lunar Base On The Moon just sent out an EMP to destroy any satellites featuring a Black Mesa tech signature!

BreenGrub
BreenGrub
Jan 24
Reply to Test Subject 29

Ha! We already had an EMP on the moon to screw with the aliens, and now we will use it on you!

Test Subject 29
Reply to BreenGrub

Double cheating! There are no aliens on the moon, stupid! And I know that you already knew that, because we know what Black Mesa is doing in those other dimensions!

BreenGrub
BreenGrub
Jan 25
Reply to Test Subject 29

No you fool! We do have aliens on the moon! They are disguised as rocks, so when Aperture takes them to make portals, they will be greeted with aliens!

Test Subject 29
Reply to BreenGrub

We have a screening process for that, you moron! It involves Mantis Men, and I'm not willing to go into much more detail than that.

Test Subject 29
Reply to Test Subject 29

Also, while we're on the topic of mutants disguised as extraterrestrial rocks... Be on the look out for a surprise during the next Anti-Mass Spectrometer test.

budget the frog