We currently have a satellite aimed at the heart of Aperture Science. At the push of a button, a super cool laser will melt a hole straight through their labs. And maybe through the entirety of Earth. On the plus side, we would become the number one research center to exist that produces such great Portals.
Word of advice, from an Aperture employee already working on our new Mass-Sized Laser Redirection Cube: Don't call your attacks. That just gives your opponent a chance to deflect them.
Then we will simply build another giant satellite to reflect your reflect.
That’s cheating. Plus, “reflect your reflect”? That’s completely redundant. Ha! While I was typing this, the folks at the Aperture Science Lunar Base On The Moon just sent out an EMP to destroy any satellites featuring a Black Mesa tech signature!
Ha! We already had an EMP on the moon to screw with the aliens, and now we will use it on you!
Double cheating! There are no aliens on the moon, stupid! And I know that you already knew that, because we know what Black Mesa is doing in those other dimensions!
No you fool! We do have aliens on the moon! They are disguised as rocks, so when Aperture takes them to make portals, they will be greeted with aliens!
We have a screening process for that, you moron! It involves Mantis Men, and I'm not willing to go into much more detail than that.
Also, while we're on the topic of mutants disguised as extraterrestrial rocks... Be on the look out for a surprise during the next Anti-Mass Spectrometer test.