Barney just sent me this meme! I think it's hilarious. What I find weird is that he said that it's a tutorial as to how I can lose weight. I think that's stupid, I can be who I want to be!
Sorry for being a bit inactive, but Otis had a few loose ends to cu-- I mean chores to do. I heard that Justin Barn went missing, not sure why... But he got what was coming to him. No one says that they're better than someone a thousand times better than them! That's just hypocrisy! Or was it double standards? I don't remember...
No!!! I just gambled away half of my BLT sandwich while playing Bridge during lunch!!!... Maybe I should try to win it back? I'll put two of my donuts on the stake. Any more suggestion as to what I should do? Besides murder, of course... I'm a honorable man, I would never do such a thing!... Yeah.
Hello! It's my first day on the job. Or, rather, first day on the job after that «break» I took yesterday! Don't worry about what happened. Worry about the fact that it's my first day on the job after the break! Anyway, Justin Barn and I talked this afternoon on our lunch breaks. He kept saying he's better than Barney, how Barney is terrible and ugly, but that's a lie! No one is better than Barney! He buys me donuts and beer constantly!
How did I, Otis Laurey, get a job at Black Mesa, some of you may ask? Well, it's due to my sheer strength and intelligence that no one possesses other than me! And don't ask my psychiatrist, I'm definitely nooooot lying! You would believe Otis, right? Right? Right.
Today a scientist asked if I knew who ate all the donuts... Too bad he doesn't know it was me! Muahahahaha- wait, the vending machine broke. Hold on, let me go fix it. I'm back. Turns out that the stupid scientist didn't put a quarter in. Are there any decently smart people here in Sector G?! Dang it...
Update: I have convinced Justin Barn that Barney is better. Unfortunately Barney has only one disadvantage; he has no girlfriend. I think we should play Bridge tonight or something, just need to buy a new pack of cards! Did any of you know that I once won 200.000 dollars from a casino just from playing Blackjack? Turns out experience from playing Bridge translates over! Somehow...
Just remembered, a couple days ago I worked an entire shift at the Black Mesa Gift Shop! So far it's not a huge success, considering they put it near the tram lines. At least people buy the Breen plushie constantly for some reason. In fact, even I «borrowed» some! They were too charming for me not to take them... Way more charming than Doctor Breen himself. Yeah. Way more charming. Anyway, did you guys know that I got evicted from my shift at the Black Mesa Gift Shop a couple days ago?