In City17 New York, 2001, the Consulcast-TV was hijacked by a man wearing a Max Headroom mask. The Consulcast was interrupted by static, then the masked figure appeared, taunting a local Civil Protection officer, calling him a "fucking collaborator" and claiming to be "better than him." The intruder growled, laughed maniacally, and shouted random phrases. He held up a can of Dr. Breen's Private Reserve, sarcastically referencing the regime’s propaganda slogan: “Join the cause.” He threw the can off-screen and gave a distorted middle finger while humming a tune from Civil Protection Radio. He then muttered, “I still see the Combine…” before letting out a pained groan, yelling “My rations!” He concluded by referencing the City17 bulletin, declaring, “I’ve made a masterpiece for all you loyalist scum,” before lifting a gloved hand and saying, “My brother has the other glove, but it’s covered in Xen dirt!” The broadcast cut to a strange scene where the masked figure had shifted offscreen to the left, exposing his side partially with his buttocks visible. A female figure, dressed in what looked like a Cremator Factory uniform and wearing a mask, appeared on the right. Max Headroom screamed "They're coming to get me!", and was hit by a Combine stun baton from an unseen accomplice. The transmission ended abruptly after 90 seconds, cutting back to consulcast mid-sentence.
How much pure columbian does it take to come up with this?